based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
