He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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