Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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