we're blogging at a bar
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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