at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
