he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
