Porn is love you can see.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
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