I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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