i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
