as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
