it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
only if we run a train.
done.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
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