yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
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I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
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I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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