i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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