No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
