3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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