We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
