Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
