Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
