youre lurking in front of me
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
