I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
