I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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