I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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