New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize