...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He? As in you personified your dick?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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