I just threw up on my dentist
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
