Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
The uberlube is also flammable
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
