You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
