Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
