Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
