everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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