reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
You are the jesus of drinking
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
