I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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