Why are handjobs necessary in class?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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