i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
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Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
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I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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