batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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