i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I just want nice things and good sex
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
