I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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