My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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