hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
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