Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(516): View more from New York

then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.

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(214): View more from Texas

You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.

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(719): View more from Colorado

She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.

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(251): View more from Alabama

For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.

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(518): View more from New York

Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.

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