Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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