he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
