I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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