and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
