They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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