I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
My feet surprised me
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
