The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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