some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
