covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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