Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
