I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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