And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
