If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Lo siento on account of my penis...
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
