Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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